雨的季"洁"

--IS IT A POINT OF NO RETURN?--

Both of us tried.. So hard that caused a complete breakdown.
I couldnt say its your fault or mine. Both contribute to it. Things were no longer the same as it used to be. When jokes werent seen as a joke anymore. All I know is that tolerances is at the lowest point, and there is no more giving again.

I couldnt wait anymore. All i wanted badly is to see you, and because U couldnt take my joke. You left me lost with your hurting words. Perhaps I never really understand you at all.
You need something called TIME, yet I could not afford to give you anymore. Waiting time is terrible.. Yet, U told me its my business.


Looking back,
you are the first that kept my stubbornness away..
Despite tears, pains were forgotten easily with your sweetie smile. Your temper strike like a lightning.. & for someone like me who couldnt handle it fast, often get caught in between your frustration for no apparent reason. But I know you didnt mean it when u tried to make me smile. Whatever it might be.. I Love You. For your everything.

I thought we are already alright.
Failing to realise that now is still the sensitive period. Well, isnt love also means endless forgiving? Or in reality, U are already being brainwashed by your 'bro', who was more significant than me to you.

Sadly, when exhaustion couldnt get in touch with communication. Fire meets fire.
U think i have changed. But in actual fact, i also have my own temper.
But I kept it away.. Simple reason, I want to be your wonderful Bei.. That was why i never did lose my temper on you. Never.

Not a Superwoman.
Sorry.. because I couldnt give you any more of my best understanding.
I was more to fragile than independent. Alot of time, I just hope you will be there when i breakdown.. Hopes are hopes.
Now, I could no longer hold you in my arms, could no longer tell you that you actually meant the world to me. I could never find you beside me when i wake up in the morning.. unable to kiss and hug you whenever things goes wrong.

Alot of bitter hate & pain in us. I couldnt give what you want anymore. All I can is to wish you the best in finding your perfect happiness.

--Darling--

when i said its the last SMS i will send to you.. i mean it.

Please dont test my patience, for its totally gone after today..

Your pain didnt add joy to my life.

At least i know your welfare means so much more

than mine.

I thought you know me well enough that i love you so deep so true..

and would never do anything that could break your heart.
Yet to you, I am someone heartless enough to smile at your pain.

Arent you the heartless one?

.

Today,

30 June 2007

..

in your hurting words..
you said no matter how much u miss me, how much u love me, or how much you need me..

you will NEVER do anything to hold our relationship back anymore..

not anymore.

Well, this is enough to break my heart.. break our love.. break all the promises made.
..
My heart shattered into pieces. But I never want it to be amended.

Its your 9 Months Appreciation.

..

Leave it the way you left it.
..

..

So For Me..
Doesnt matter how much i miss you, love you or need you badly by my side..

or even if the whole world turns me away..

I will hold on with all my own might..

and I will never ask you back... never ask for your return.

If cutting my flesh apart would just stop me from giving you any reply,

I Will.

For, you've crushed me badly with all your might.

.

Congrats, you succeed.

--Bei--